I’ve been seeing this graphic going across the social networks…it says “Insecurity will destroy you”…
Where does this come from?
Who said this?
And why do so many people feel the need to post and re-post it?
Am I completely missing something?
Did I miss the line where you could get complete and utter confidence?
Did God totally miss me with this?
Am I the only person in the world with insecurities?
I doubt it.
That is one of the most misleading statements if I ever did see one. And not only does not help people be more confident, it causes more and more people to hide who they really are from the world.
Insecurities, my good people, will not destroy you. You know what will destroy you?
Hiding who you are. Pretending like you don’t have insecurities is what will destroy you.
People are very afraid to be vulnerable. I used to be too but when that burden got to be too heavy, I let it go.
I have insecurities. I have fears. They come and they go and I let them. I acknowledge them so that I can get past them and work through them. I refuse to pretend otherwise because doing so is to my own detriment.
And maybe the people posting it don’t mean it the way it comes off but…the many people that I see agreeing with it and commenting on it as if they were just invincible.
It’s a façade.
It’s not real.
There is no one alive that I know who does not have insecurities. Insecurities are our fears. Fear of abandonment. Fear of not being enough. Fear of being alone. Fear of not being accepted. These are part of who we are. It’s a part of our journey in the world. These are our compasses. They teach us what we need to know if we would just listen to them.
I used to be so insecure and so sensitive to others criticism of me. I didn’t have the proper tools at a young age to know how to process my insecurities in healthy ways. My parents didn’t teach me, my teachers didn’t teach me, and my friends and peers…they served to bring even more of my insecurities out.
I remember when I was in 6th grade; I was teased about how wide my mouth was. They used call me the joker. Obviously, it became one of my insecurities. It affected me for a long time. I wouldn’t smile normally, I would always try to smile with my lips closed, never showing teeth. It was horrible. Yet somehow, I don’t know how exactly, I got over it. And now I love my smile, I love my mouth, I love how wide my grin is and that it is one of the first things people notice about me.
Some of our insecurities, we must naturally grow out of but then there are those deep seated, psychologically baffling insecurities that WE ALL have that always need to be observed and acknowledged and questioned. Like our fear of not being accepted or our fear of not being enough. These kinds of insecurities come up all the time because of different situations, whether its work, or school, or relationships. They will come up.
And acknowledging that you have insecurities doesn’t make you weak or not confident, to the contrary. It shows vulnerability. Yes, that’s a scary word but that is how we connect. It’s what makes us human; it’s what makes people fall in love with us. Believe me, no one is in love with how confident you pretend to be because on a subconscious level people can see right through that…and they can sense that you are not authentic.
People fall in love with the fact that you make them feel a certain way. And you can only bring out those kinds of emotions in people when you recognize them in yourself, when you show them that its okay to let down their guard.
No one is in love with me because I’m beautiful. No one is in love with me because I have a beautiful smile. People fall in love with my smile because of what they see behind it. And what’s behind my smile? I smile because even though I have this little pudge that I’ve been trying to get rid of for years I still essentially love my body. I love the little indentations on the sides of my belly. I smile because even though I have had relationship problems over and over again, I am growing and learning to love myself through the pain of it and learning about what I want and what I don’t want.
My insecurities have helped me to get to know myself better because they are guiding me. Showing me, urging me, pushing me to get past my fears…
Love life everyone…and life will love you back. Thank you.